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October 12 I'm still here! - Happy Thanksgiving everyone (a little late but still)Hi everyone...I didn't realize how long it has been since I have last posted. I have a post that I think
I have mentioned many times here - I still haven't written it yet. Nor do I think I will be writing it today.
I just wanted to say, I haven't forgotten everyone, I'm still around. I have been so swamped with the new term at university.
But I can say that I have been challenged in a different way and my heart has been growing for Him. I think I got a little
side-tracked over the summer. More like...before the summer.
This summer Jesus gave me a time of rest. I have to confess that I was a wreck by the time April came around and exams ended. I was so consumed with school and work and family issues and I had quite a few emotional breakdowns. I am blessed to have awesome roommates who have truly been my blessings. This is our last year together before graduation so it's a bittersweet year. Please pray for us. Three of the girls don't know Jesus, and that is hard. But I am being the best witness I can be with my life.
I think this is the first post that is mostly about my life...weird. I just want to let everyone know that there is no one, and I mean NO ONE as wonderful as Jesus is. As busy and crazy as this term has been, He has been there every step of the way. Financially, Emotionally, Opportunity-wise....there is nothing like His providence.
I have to talk about something really quick though - it's fear. This time I'm talking about the fear that we need to have for God. Ihave been thinking about it a bit recently. You know how we talk about how wonderful and forgiving and kind God is? Do we ever think...He is God? He's not just cotton candy and sweetness, He's powerful and mighty and He get's angry. We forget the wrath of God and the sacredness of God and we bring Him down to our level way too much. What do you think?
I think we need to start giving God His glory - because He is our friend, and because He is our GOD. We need to be on our knees more than we are trying to pull Him down.
Just some food for thought.
God bless everyone!!
July 08 Note and a verse (or chapter more like)Hi Everyone! I have been meaning to post for a while now, but I haven't had the chance and when I have I haven't been in the mood. However, I think it's more that it isn't time yet for me to make the post that is brewing in my heart - and there is one! I've been praying and trying to make sense of it befor I make a full post. TO everyone who I haven't visited in a while...I will soon! I just wanted to leave this message and this chapter of the wonderful book of Psalms that I love and hope will bless you!
Psalm 139For the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David. 1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
I color coded them with a point...for emphasis in different ways. I just hope that it makes sense once you've read it over...or maybe the second and third time you read it. In the mean time, I would like to ask for prayer, that I will get a job for the rest of the summer - in His will.
God bless!!
May 26 BuddhismI don't normally tackle other faiths...but a recent and not so recent situation made it so I had to really make a decision. Now I pray and write this because I feel it is time.
Brief Background I have known of Buddhism for as long as I can remember. I knew the history of it – the Prince Siddhartha gave up everything (his royalty) to live life as a renunciant because he saw life as all suffering. There’s a story of how he snuck out of the palace (he was kept in so he wouldn’t see the realities of life) and saw a beggar, a sick man, a farmer and a funeral – this made him believe that there was only suffering in life so there was no point. He came across a renunciant (someone who gave up everything – clothes, food, home shelter – to wander around looking for the truth or ultimate reality. Siddhartha in time acquired disciples and eventually became the one who is called the Buddha or more appropriately Gautama Buddha. He is a Buddha because he achieved nirvana – total enlightenment.
The Buddha taught two things – suffering and the (ending) cessation of suffering. According to him that was life. There was suffering and that the end goal for people should be the cessation of suffering. The way people are supposed to do that is to follow the eight-fold noble path: Right view, right intention – they comprise Wisdom; Right speech, right action and right livelihood – which comprise Ethical conduct; and Right effort, right mindfulness and right concentration – for mental development. It’s somewhat complicated but it’s more a moral code of living than anything else. Individuals have to be good and then they will be reborn better than they are now and you go through the cycle of rebirth until you get to the stage of being a demi-god after which you will achieve true nirvana thus ending the cycle of rebirth. It is not entirely clear what you become but it’s more of a different realm that you disappear into or just disappear.
What’s the point? Buddhism is a religion that is not a religion. It has no God. Most people don’t realize this. They look for God, they look for something that makes sense and in looking to Buddhism they seem to think they find something concrete. Buddhism has some moral codes that are positive – the five precepts for lay people are very sound. I don’t think any Christian can argue with them.
However the fact of the matter is Buddhism is a non-religion religion that looks towards a man. Even adherents will tell you it isn’t a religion – however there are some who will say yes it is. Religion in and of itself is hard to define – still, the point remains Buddhism is a way of life - One that really has no direction except to live morally and to pursue nirvana. Nirvana which takes endless cycles of re-birth to attain.
Buddhism gives people no purpose…the whole point of life is to suffer and die and be reborn in a state based on the ‘goodness’ of your previous life until you get to be ‘good’ enough to reach enlightenment and end the cycle of rebirth. God however created us with purpose. Jesus came so that we could live our lives with that purpose without the cloud of death hanging over us. And you don’t have to wait for ‘x’ number of lifetimes to get to a place of peace. You can have peace now – even in the hard times. You don’t have to ‘suffer’ through ‘x’ number of lifetimes to get to end the suffering. With Jesus have the one life where you can choose life, choose peace and now and at the end of this life you get to be with God in eternity.
People have said that Siddhartha was on the earth some 800 years before Jesus. I would argue that even though Jesus did not physically manifest himself as a man on the earth until 800 years later, God was still there from the beginning. Judaism was still there. And the Bible teaches us that Jesus is the Word of God – He was there at the beginning, since before creation. Jesus himself said He was with God. The first chapter of John re-iterates this.
Historically speaking there is no dispute that both Siddhartha a.k.a Gautama Buddha and Jesus who is called Christ walked the earth. Also, there is no doubt that the Buddha walked around North India and attracted people to his teaching of renouncing all to follow the path to nirvana. There is also no doubt that Jesus lived and did the miracles and said the things that the Bible said He did and said. There is a BIG difference in the two. Jesus promised life, hope and peace and joy – even when things are awful. In God we have shelter, we have victory over death, we have everlasting life with God, and we have forgiveness and acceptance among other things. In Buddhism, you have suffering, and no way out except to try to follow the Eightfold-Noble Path and hope to be reincarnated as a better person or creature and keep doing that until you can achieve enlightenment/nirvana. If you are a woman, you should strive to be reborn as a man before you could ever hope to get to the stage of arhat or Buddha (not the same, the former is a level below Buddha). Yes Buddhahood is a state not really a person…a person has to get to enlightenment to become Buddha. And even a Buddha will have to continue living until he dies – once he is dead he is gone. Jesus died, just like Siddhartha/Gautama Buddha, but Jesus rose from the dead (which was witnessed by over five hundred people).
If you’re looking for hope Jesus gives it to you free and clear, yours for the asking. Buddhism is a series of hits and misses and you are not guaranteed anything but suffering. Jesus gives you life and hope and strength through the storms that come your way. I know people considering this faith and it saddens me – Jesus has His arms stretched out to them (can you imagine holding your arms out to someone for an hour let alone everyday, all the time they are apart from you?) I hope you choose life not suffering. Jesus is life.
If you have questions I would love to talk with you. Comments are appreciated but swearing and disrespectfulness will not be tolerated. I will delete those comments as soon as I see them.
God bless May 09 Undignified sacrificeWell...it's been a long time since I last posted here. Honestly, in the month and a bit I have been through many many storms - but it's such a joy to say that I have never been alone. God has always been there and still is. I've had something that has been brewing in my heart for a while, I've been waiting for the right time for God to get me to it. It hasn't happened yet, but today when I was reading my Bible something else settled in me. I say settled, because it wasn't a 'jumping out-shock'kind of revelation but one that just fit. Isn't it funny how today I am the most tired and yet it is now that He moved me to writing this. Most of the time I have long posts *sorry to the people who have a hard time reading it all*, I'm not sure how long this is going to be. I let God give me the words to say what he has impressed on me to share.
I was reading 2 Samuel 6 and verses 11 - 22 got to me. (I'm only showing the parts that I am focusing on)
...So David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-Edom to the City of David with gladness. And so it was, when those bearing the ark of the LORD had gone six paces, that he sacrificed oxen and fatted sheep. Then David danced before the LORD with all his might; and David was wearing a linen ephod. So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the LORD with shouting and with the sound of the trumpet. Now as the ark of the LORD came into the City of David, Michal, Saul’s daughter, looked through a window and saw King David leaping and whirling before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart. So they brought the ark of the LORD, and set it in its place in the midst of the tabernacle that David had erected for it. Then David offered burnt offerings and peace offerings before the LORD. And when David had finished offering burnt offerings and peace offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the LORD of hosts... Then David returned to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, “How glorious was the king of Israel today, uncovering himself today in the eyes of the maids of his servants, as one of the base fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!” So David said to Michal, “It was before the LORD, who chose me instead of your father and all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the LORD, over Israel. Therefore I will play music before the LORD. And I will be even more undignified than this, and will be humble in my own sight. But as for the maidservants of whom you have spoken, by them I will be held in honor.”
I immediately thought of the Matt Redman song Undignified. You know something, I didn't really realize what I was learning when I started reading 1 Samuel and the I got to 2 Samuel and this clicked. Up until now God has been showing me a lot about worth and worthiness. So that's what I though I was learning...but now it's more about true worship. It's about sacrifice. I've talked about these things before - today I was reading this and I realized what this Church song we used to sing when I was younger meant.
The lyrics go " We bring the sacrifice of praise, into the house of the Lord. And we offer unto You, the sacrifices of thanksgiving. And we offer unto You, the sacrifices of Love." That song was going through my head today while I was reading this passage. See...sacrifice means giving up something of value - something of worth. When David danced before the Lord, he was sacrificing his pride and his image - I mean think about it, if we were to see a Political leader today dancing for God or anything really with true abandon and joy we'd probably all be taling about how unworthy (s)he is of the position or how foolish he or she is. But David danced, he jumped and he sang for God with the people and in the midst of the people. Michal said he was almost like the servants...and yet David boldly said he would be even more undignified when it came to God. That's love! And that is sacrifice - I can tell you Saul was not like that. Saul wanted his 'image' more.
We are all often much like Saul...we are blessed and we exalt in it, but when we have to follow the will of the Lord we are selfish with our pride. Even when He gives us chance after chance we choose ourselves over God. Funny isn't it...that we actually only gain ourselves when we give it away?
How undignified are we willing to be for God? The God who became the most undignified when he was stripped, spit on, mocked, flogged, disrespected,bore all of your sin, and accepted the most shameful of execution methods to die - all so that you could live a life free of the bondage of sin and death. David chose sacrifice, he chose to be undignified and to glory in his King and he was the most blessed king of all - even with his faults. David chose to give up his pride for God - and God called him a man after His own heart. Do you want that? I do.
I will dance, I will sing to be mad for my King. i will dance i will sing to be mad for my king
It's a simple song...but so much wealth in it. I thought I'd share the lyrics more accurately-ish. I want that kind of passion - I pursue it all the time. The ability to dance before my King...He gives us that freedom!
March 02 Life - giving it upI have become more and more convinced about one thing, no make that three. 1) God is real. 2) The world tries to both believe it and find different ways of getting to God or god or spends immense amounts of time trying to disprove God’s existence or the need for Him. 3) It doesn’t matter who we are, living will bring us trial after trial and in the brokenness God changes and works in us – if we are willing.
I got to watch a movie with my brother last week. It’s a Hindi movie , Rang De Basanti – literally translated, Color of Sacrifice. [If anyone is planning to watch this movie, there are spoilers, sorry] It had to do with some of recapturing what a group of men did when they fought for freedom, when India was still under British colonial - rule. And it had a parallel to present day where a group of college students – men – took on the roles of the aforementioned men and mimicked (almost) their actions to fight the corruption in the Indian government and also dealing with a friend of theirs who was in the Indian army and had died. (Not that anyone really needed to know but there is a point – I hope!) I watched the movie and was praying at the same time (don’t laugh!). There was something really profound in how it affected me, more in a spiritual sense than anything else. I would watch the situations and motivations unfold and then I realized something. How much are we willing to be persecuted, or stand up for our God? How much are we really willing to die for Him?
These guys in the movie chose to die to tell the people of India what they believed i.e. the corruption and that they had killed the Defense Minister because of the lies and lives that were being lost and the defamation of character of the pilot friend . But the heart behind it wasn’t about hate, they believed that they had to kill the minister. While I don’t agree with that logic, what struck me was the end conviction that they needed to tell people they did it and also were willing to be jailed for it. But before they did they had to tell the people why they did it. Sometimes my parallels are loose so bear with me. The thing that broke me was when I posed the questions to myself – how many people in the world today don’t truly know Jesus? How many of us really pray for them? How many of us really speak to them? How many of us are willing to be mocked, jailed, beat up, or even killed because we share the news of Jesus? I’m willing to bet that theoretically many Christians will say sure, then many may say I don’t need to do that. I’m also willing to bet that upon reading the last question most people cringed. I would.
It occurred to me in that time, that my life is a sounding board for God. (I knew this before, in my head – but in heart do we really take this on as out mission?) The profoundness was in the fact that, no matter what I dream of – finding the right man, getting through university and finding the right seminary, being a mom, bringing my family together, being fiscally secure, singing etc, etc, - if I am not really willing to die for God then it’s all meaningless. I gave that to God sitting in the cinema that night. It’s hard, because in my humanness I want to have those dreams. But more than that – God’s dreams are so much brighter. And more than OUR dreams, the world needs us. Our neighbor, our friends, EVEN our enemies. The biggest dream that overshadows all the others is the one where I can be used to bring people to Christ, where I after this world is gone, I will get to sit at the feet of my Lord, where I will be able to bless Him and worship Him, where all the Body of Christ is together and rejoicing and full of peace and love.
There’s a bigger picture we don’t see. God gives us the desires of our heart – He really does. But we need to give Him what in all honesty isn’t really ours to take – our lives. There’s a Bebo Norman song I’ve been listening to recently – Walk down this Mountain that has the lyrics “ if you offer up, this broken cup, you will see the meaning of this life” Be willing to be broken, because God is transforming you. And also because you can touch someone’s life through it.
Ooo…this is long. I’ll leave you with this article from Christianity Today. Read it – and really think about the last line when you get to it. (think about what Yancey says in the whole thing too! February 05 I lift up my hands
I’ve been thinking about quite a few things but one thing that I have constantly been contemplating is lifting up our hands when we sing to God at church, or even at home, basically whenever we praise God. I find myself lifting up my hands at different times…with music and without. When I walk out of my house and I look at the sky, or when I see the street (strangely enough) I’m filled with awe at that. That there is this world, that God’s given us the ability to think and create to do all the things that we are able to do. There are times when I sit in my room and just have this need to lift up my hand to God. It got me thinking, WHY DO WE LIFT UP OUR HANDS? I’ve been asking God about it too.
I know that until recently (within the last year and a half) I have been very uncomfortable with that form of expression to God. I would see people lift up their hands, and it never made sense to me as to why. And have you noticed that a whole congregation can have their hands raised but you feel out of place doing it?
The most amazing thing was when I realized that in lifting up our hands we do quite a few things. One, we are letting go of our pride. A true attitude of worship only comes from letting go of our pride. Our pride puts us in a place where we feel that we are above or better than some things – even God (as much as we think otherwise).
You’ve seen pictures I’m sure of people who beg or are searching for something who have their arms outstretched reaching towards this thing or person. When we lift up our hands we are reaching towards the One who sustains us and gives us life. It’s not often something we really think about, however, in letting go of our pride we are acknowledging this need that we have. Every one of us has this need – no matter what anyone says. Reaching out to God is an act of devotion; it’s admitting that we need Him and that we want Him.
It is submitting to God. (The greatest act of liberation there is {submission})
Don’t misunderstand, if it is not something that you do that does not eliminate your devotion to God. I don’t really know why this seemed like something to talk about. But I have an idea that it is something many of us do without really thinking about it. While many of us who do raise our hands do so when we are moved, I don’t think we truly get why. And those who see the people who do aren’t quite sure what’s going on there.
Lifting up our hands to God is an act of love, one where we are moved in our spirit to thank Him, to express the awe we have, to say “Lord these are my hands, use me”, to give an outward expression of our devotion, to seek Him, and to accept and ask for the things that He has promised us. (If there is anything that I have missed I would love for you to tell me...or even share an experience)
God loves us so much that that love that He gives us overflows. I pray that you be filled to overflowing.
Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help, as I lift up my hands
Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. Psalm 63:3-4 May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice. Psalm 141:2 Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children, who faint from hunger at the head of every street. Lamentations 2:19. I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing. 1 Timothy 2:8. January 11 HAVE A HAPPY BLESSED NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! – be prepared, this is a long oneWow, we’re in 2006 already. Time sure does fly! First of all I want to wish everyone: I hope and pray that your Christmas was amazing, full of His love and family and friends. I also pray that your New Year will be bountiful in blessings and God’s guiding hand, that you will grow more in Him. I have wanted to post something and more so visit individual spaces to wish everyone, but I was not able to. Please know that you are all in my prayers.
University started on the 3rd for people at my university. In my Wednesday class there was a girl sitting in front of me who was talking a little loudly. The class is an Introduction to the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament. I was especially interested in the conversation she was having, when I heard her say “How can people actually believe this crap?” My immediate reaction was to cringe, and then I settled into my seat to hear the conversation. She had taken the Intro to the New Testament class last term (which I had taken the year before), and kept talking about contradictions and how some weren’t sure about the times of certain events and said that that was proof that it was not to be believed. I sat there praying, “Lord, it’s so sad how that class was so pointless [ no bias, the professor was not able to answer almost ANY question posed, didn’t seem to know much about the material past what she had read or the certain scholars who she liked and even when she taught subjects she didn’t know anything past what she had on her slides.] , and yet here is someone who has this stance against you from the outset, who is running with what, if you read the text and look up for yourself you will find that the issues she brings up are not really true.” I prayed for her then. But on the way home, I realized what to do here. This is my statement of faith. My reasons for why I believe. I hope you will let me know what you believe as well. I also hope that you will be blessed. For non-Christians I hope that this will answer some of your questions and if you have any more I would be very glad to answer them for you.
I believe in Jesus. I believe He is the Son of God and that He rose from the dead. That His crucifixion was the price paid for salvation for the world – for God’s children, to reconcile us to Him. I believe in the Bible, it is the Word of God. I believe in the Holy Spirit who is present in the world to help us and guide us. I believe that no matter what we do or how far we fall that God loves us immeasurably. That God wants a relationship with us. That God wants to bless us. I believe that the blood of Jesus that was poured out at the cross can cover our sins and renew us. I believe that in proclaiming Jesus as Lord and Savior, by asking Him into our lives we are born-again.
I believe that God is knocking on the doors of our hearts, and that He will not force Himself on us – still He loves us and is calling to us. I believe that He gave us free will, a choice to choose many things, the biggest choice is whether to follow and believe in Him. I believe as Christians it is our duty to seek God and to live for Him. I believe He loves us and with the love that He gives us we are to love others – it’s very hard but it is doable. His grace guides us to it.
I have faith and belief that these things are true number one because of my relationship with God. People may say that it’s not objective – but what is? If you believe in something purely from an ‘objective’ standpoint, especially something as deep as faith you’re not giving it a chance to be a faith. I may not be the oldest or wisest person in the world, but I have lived through enough to know that life is not without pain. I have been in holes where I have lost hope, where I have been broken too many times to count. I’ve lost people, courage, parts of myself I will never get back, even my home and I can honestly say that I am standing up stronger than the sum of all of it. My ability to stand is because of Jesus, how He has shown Himself in my life. How He comforts me, how He teaches me, how He shows me the things in me that I need to change, and how He challenges me. I have had answered prayers, more times than I can count – which many people call coincidence, but I don’t. Many of these ‘coincidences’ would not have happened without intervention of some kind – divine intervention.
My faith is strengthened BY the Bible. It’s interesting how many people say there are so many contradictions in the Bible and it doesn’t make sense – but when you ask them what these contradictions are, they don’t know. It’s just something they’ve ‘heard’. I watched this video made by a particular religious group to propagate their religion last year. It was a debate between a Christian pastor and a scholar of this particular faith. With no bias…the Pastor talked about why he believed in Christianity. He gave effective proofs for issues related to the Bible. One was a copyist error where there was an issue where in one book of the Bible the number 144000 was used and in another book it said 14400…relating to the same issue. He acknowledged that there are these possibilities. He dealt with criticisms of the Bible, or incidents relating to this other faith. When it was the turn for this other religious scholar, he first spoke in the language of his religion which would only be understood by members of the religion…and he was mocking the Pastor with his introduction. Then he picked obscure points to say “ look at the Bible, it’s always changing. There’s this passage here where it talks about ‘kicking against the goads, what are goads? Does anyone know?’ Then he went on to show that a subsequent edition of the same version of the Bible had changed the word to one that is more commonly used. He used that to say that the Bible is corrupted, that it makes no sense. The whole argument was one where this man mocked Christians and the Pastor continuously. In addition the video had these snide sarcastic comments added to make the viewers mock Christians – even when the comments made no sense. It was a video that was distributed by one of the main source for this particular religion. I remember thinking how sad it was that people can be so foolish, that this was how they got people to buy into their claims. But did you know that even though the Bible was copied by human hands, that it is error-free by a margin of 99% ? This is not a Christian position but one that has been determined my scholars in the field.
I will not deny that the Bible was written by men, I do believe that it is the inspiration of God. The Bible is a record of many prophecies about Jesus and most have actually happened. No other religion can claim that. The numbers are about 64 or 66 prophecies that have been fulfilled by Jesus, the probability of even one is very high, the probability of all of these happening are higher than a trillion and yet it happened with Jesus. Scholars have proved it. Archeology actually has been proving what the Bible has said rather than being able to disprove it. Even when you look at it from a non-Christian basis, there is more proof for the claims of Christianity than not.
And yet, I reiterate that my faith does not rest on these things. While I am excited by them, they only serve to support my already present belief. My faith rests on the things that cannot be seen, on the changes in me, on the gifts I have been given by God, on the peace that I have in Him, on so much more than what people try to bring it down to.
Being a Christian is a lot more than words. Facts and figures help…and we have that. There are things we don’t understand too…but we need to rely on God to reveal to us what we need to know not what we want to know so we can thumb our noses at others and say “see!”. Being a Christian is about relationships – primarily with God and then will His children, the people around you. It’s about loving, it’s about growing and it is about living. Why do Christians believe in this supposed ‘crap’? Because we have a foundation. It’s not ‘crap’ to us because for those who truly do live for God we see evidences that would not be seen otherwise. We believe because there is a truth that only comes from having a relationship with God. We believe because we have chosed to HAVE FAITH – faith implies trusting what we cannot always know and believing in what we cannot always see.
I end with this…people want to call religion a lot of things. Lots of people say that they believe or have faith in their religions. But when the going gets tough how many throw in the towel…or start the is- there- a-God song. Faith requires perseverance DESPITE the downsides…only then can you truly see fruit. December 03 CompassionIt really has been a LONG time since I've posted. There have been so many things that I have wanted to talk about, but it was never the right time. God in His awesomeness has been changing me and molding me and seeing me through valleys and times of growth. I just want you to know that no matter what you go through, He IS faithful to see you through it.
God impressed upon me what I am about to talk about, very strongly. It's not something new to what I normally speak about, and yet somehow I found it so revelationary that I also felt called to talk about it.
I was walking home from univeristy and talking with God and in the midst of the conversation the subject of compassion came up. Compassion - for the person who doesn't know God, for the person who attacks you for your faith and for the person who rejects God. Compassion for someone who hurts you deeply. Compassion for the lost.
I was shaken by how much I felt the need to cry. There are so many people out there who either reject Jesus, don't know Jesus, are scared to know Jesus, follow a faith that is not of Jesus, or are searching desperately for someone to tell them about Jesus and His love for them. I realized how easy it is to pray blanket prayers for people..."God you know who needs prayer, please be with them"...they're not bad and God does hear them. But how much of our hearts are in those prayers? DO we say them because we mean it or do we say them because we feel we should. DO we get excited to talk to people about Jesus and then after the initial excitement wears off, do we still have the same verve?
How much do we cry for the lost? Cry that there ARE people who are lost to Jesus? I'm not talking about not letting His joy fill your life, I'm talking about not letting His love radiate to and for others. We know that Jesus is praying for us, and we know that He cries for His children. So if we are the body of Christ why are WE not crying for the people? Why do we not have hearts that are as broken for the people who don't know Jesus, that Jesus does? Our lives are supposed to mirror Jesus, how can we do that if we allow ourselves to be offended so much that we don't pray for the people we are offended by?
This is compassion, this is love.
Jesus gave His life for us, now we get to live our lives for Him. Even better...we need to live our lives for others - Jesus did that too! October 15 How many times have You heard me pray?Last weekend for those in Canada was Thanksgiving weekend. I got to go home, spend time with my family, bake and relax. It was good, because i took some time to sit with God. Not much, but still took the time. I have been reading this book, Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. It's interesting...there are things that he mentions in his book that often have me go...'wow' or 'I never thought of that!' always, it makes me think. Anyway, I was listening to some music while reading and the lyrics from the Hillsongs song All For Love stopped me.
How many times have I broken Your heart, still You forgive, if only I ask.
Do we ever really think of the depth of this? I mean, honestly...Christians and non-Christians alike have this notion that all we talk about is salvation. And Salvation is amazing...but what about the price? When Jesus died on the cross, not only was he physically brutally dealt with...I mean He was whipped, flogged (this whip-like rope with multiple extensions with hooks in it) he literally would have been ripped so much that people could see his bones and innards. AFTER that, he was made to wear thorns around His head...and deal with the sting of the elements and sweat stinging Him WHILE He was made to carry the cross beam. THEN he was crucified...this hands AND feet nailed to the cross...STILL he said 'Father forgive them'. And while His body was going through this incredible trauma ( I mean seriously, how much do WE hurt over a stubbed toe or even an accidental cut ) He was bearing all the sins of the world. Think of everytime you've done something you know is wrong...all of OUR guilt, all of our shame, all of the ramifications that we would have to deal with - HE TOOK, WILLINGLY. To put it in another way - when someone you love cheats on you, or when you are rejected by people you would do anything for, when someone you love does something that is harmful to you and/or to themselves even - How do you feel?
Jesus on the cross bore everything and more that would put us in a place of eternal misery. Sure we complain about how our lives can at times be hell...but we know nothing about the real hell except that it is so much WORSE. And God said, okay I love you. You are making choices that keep putting you farther and farther away from me, and more are killing you. You hurt me, you broke my heart, but because YOU are precious to me I will forgive you by paying the price of death FOR you.
With that, we still make mistakes...we still fall and then when we use our heards and listen to our hearts we say 'Lord, I'm sorry'. And...HE FORGIVES. Just like that, because He shed His blood for you, because He loves you. No one in the world can love OR forgive like that. We bear scars from our pasts, or even our presents. We deal with anger and sometimes hate- and when we ask God...even in His hurt He says, 'Okay, I forgive you' and then He scatters our sins as far as the east is from the west...and FORGETS THEM. They're erased...and bringing them up to Him only makes Him say...what are you talking about. You are made new, there is nothing there for you to keep rehashing, you are free.
We sing of standing on His promises, share about how amazing He is, talk about all that He's done - IT'S INDESCRIBABLE. The point is...what do we do for Him? How much do we hurt Him? I can be honest and say as much as I don't like it, I'm good at hurting Him. It breaks my heart. The depth of His love and forgiveness make me (and all of us) take Him for granted. IT needs to stop...but we can only do that if we are willing to say, Lord I need Your help. And then we need to actually WORK at serving Him and not abusing Him. He loves each and every one of us, and even when we make mistakes He loves us. He knows that we are not perfect...HE MAKES US PERFECT. We need to be aware that His constant forgiveness is not license to keep hurting Him. We need to APPRECIATE and LIVE in Him. We need to trust that He knows what we need and give up our pride before we can truly be used by Him. We can't go far if we're asking Him to draw near, and in the same breath push Him away with our actions. We need to go FOR God, NOT go from God. He is truly all we need. October 02 FYII haven't been able to post much recently...super busy with university and such. However, I have been thinking a lot about things that people have been saying on here and elsewhere. I just want to leave a quick note...Just because people say they are Christian if they don't act it then there's something wrong there. That said...I don't appreciate the double entendres that have ben used by some who do pose as Christian that are quite crude and disrespectful to not only Christ, but His believers and honestly the people who do it themselves.
Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom ...being foolish to make oneself seem completely knowledgeable truly does not make one knowledgeable. And swearing and name calling the the process of trying to 'defend' a point of view also nullifies what one has to say. Because swearing is not an answer or a winning response to anything. Malicious intent veiled is still veiled. Veils do come off.
This space welcomes conversation, ernest conversation. I don't mind if people have views that are different from mine...I am willing to talk about it. However, I am not willing to let stupidity and rudeness play a role in trying to defame other faithful or people who genuinely want to understand faith matters.
That said, I will post soon...and for all...God bless! You are all in my prayers!
September 14 Be a serpent and a doveThis has been a very emotional summer for me. It’s taught me a lot of things, mostly that just because I choose to believe in people they are not going to live up to it. It’s been very interesting because it really opened my eyes to people’s true colors. I’ve lived my life by loving people to the point where I get walked on over and over, and I let them. Usually, I figure that somewhere along the way they will see, that if I give them enough chances, if I let it all go because at the base of it all it’s about loving right?
I’ve been having these moments of lack of words to pray. Not because I don’t know what’s going on, but because I have to struggle with anger and disappointment and just sheer foolishness. I was talking with someone about something else entirely, but He dropped this one verse on my heart.
Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be as wise as serpents and has harmless as doves. – Matthew 10:16
It really struck me because for most of my life I have been the dove…I don’t know if that makes much sense. It’s more of giving in to keep the peace. It's always been about protecting, but it's sometimes melancholy and funny how as much as you try to protect others don't really care or want to protect as much as you would think they do. The point I’m trying to make is that as much as we try to live in a way that will bless God we tend to forget that He doesn’t want us to LET people use us. This doesn’t however, mean that we should be selfish and keep to ourselves or just ignore people or put ourselves above others, it means that we need to learn to love people anyway. AND learn who to trust, how to act, to think, to react in the way Jesus would. We’re not asked to put our hands in a pit of snakes willingly unless it’s maybe to save someone.
This is something that has been hard for me to do, but it’s something I am learning and have been learning. Our lives are to be living sacrifices for Him, and if we have to deal with some difficulty or pain or even make hard choices then that’s what we have to do. Loving is what I have been made to do, and for that reason I choose to love. I do not choose to let people use me for their ends and to distort issues because my life is for God’s purposes not man. And so is yours.
We have been given hearts to love, but we have also been given minds. Use them, don’t abuse them. And love with all your heart.
God bless you
I leave you with this song by Ginny Owens
The pathway is broken August 28 O the Deep Deep love of JesusSO this is an entry I had intended for last week. I wrote it out and everything ...lol...and yes I know write in word before you post...um...I didn't. It didn't work...all that got posted was the title. Hence the deletion and anyway, I think that this is most likely the time that God wanted me to post this.
At church last week and they sang a couple of hymns. Before I got out of bed that morning I asked God to speak to me, to renew me in my faith and in Him. For a fresh annointing...and so I took the time to pray for it...for myself and for everyone present including the pastors. It really was that and more. As they sang the hymns...I was shaken (in a good way), I just went to a place where I was praising Him, and there were other hymns and songs that He placed on my heart. It was awesome, because it was just verses from different songs, but they came together with a powerful message from Him to me. I honestly believe that this is a message for everyone...no matter what their circumstance. In the songs where the word 'me/I' is put in your name as you read this. I pray you will be blessed...
the different colors are to show that they are different songs/hymns
Just as I am, though tossed about Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth Shackled by a heavy burden, You are my hiding place, Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided; Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!
This is what was my song last week. Or rather...this is what my songs were. And then I put in a CD while I had burned a while back while I was driving mid-week and this song I had forgotten about completely revved me up. It's so simple...but the truth is so clear...I pray you will know this. I so desperately want to share this with you. I know that times can be tough, and depressing and there are burdens and guilt and anger and frustration et cetera et cetera et cetera...life is so not easy. I was reading a book the other day, and one line jumped at me. " Being a Christian isn't easy, but it is FULFILLING" You know what, it's true!! Our Lord, will never EVER let us go into a situation without a path for us to get out of it, stronger, happier and on FIRE...the key is we have to truly give up control. (not an easy key I know) but when we do, WOW. God knows everything you are dealing with, good, bad, in between. Believe you me, if you give it up to Him, He is right there beside you guiding you through, filling you with a peace that is incomparable, with joy that is unbelievable and with LIFE undeniable. THis is the hymn that has been lighting me up that I just mentioned...I pray for you to be filled with Him. (p.s. if you're interested, I've been listening to the version by Selah)
O the deep, deep love of Jesus , vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!Rolling as a mighty ocean in its fullness over me! Underneath me, all around me, is the current of Thy love Leading onward, leading homeward to Thy glorious rest above! O the deep, deep love of Jesus, spread His praise from shore to shore! O the deep, deep love of Jesus, love of every love the best! August 13 For the UnbelieverMost of the people that who I know read my entries are Christians. A lot of it is because they are the people whose blogs I look up. Other than that, I'm not always good at leaving a message. This is for those who don't know Jesus and also for those who do know Him. Recently there have been many people in my life or who I've come to know going through a lot of the craziness of life. Most of them are non-Christians, some grew up in Christian homes, some grew up in 'Christian' homes but did not have real faith in their homes or the light of Jesus reflected on them. Others I know who think they are 'good people', or 'good Christians' but really not so much.
The idea that 'good people' go to heaven is one that is so...difficult to combat. Because, just because you are a 'good person' if you're not God's ambassador, if your life is not in Him, if Jesus is not your Lord i.e. if you are not born again and living in His will, in His purposes...you're not going to heaven.
Only those who are born again, only those who turn to Jesus for forgiveness and ask Him into their lives are saved. And trust me...that is so easy. However, just because we have the simplicity of going to Jesus and askign Him to be the Lord of our lives, it is a commitment. The life of that commitment is not always simple. It's complicated, just as the next person's life is. With the complication, there is Joy. There is a way out of the messes we are in, there is so much good that comes out of the rubbish. There is hope, there is peace and when our time on earth is done, there is eternal Life.
People like to attack Christians for being too conservative, the idea that they are 'not cool' or should live their faith privately. There's this conception that being a Christian is blase, boring, 'bible thumping', narrow-minded...there is a list that goes on and on. I saw an avatar the other day, it has 'Save the planet' and the picture under it was a person tossing a Bible in a trash can. Initially I didn't get it...(I can be slow sometimes)...but I looked at it again. It disturbed me. There are Christians out there who live their 'Christianity' only to pass judgement. There are 'Christians' who are only 'Christians' on Sunday morning. There are 'Christians' who are Christians in name only, or others who are 'Christians' when it suits them. They pick and choose parts of the Bible that they like. The other stuff they don't have to like because well...they're still going to church and the still love God.
God doesn't ask for half measures. He wants all or nothing.
"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:
These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. Revelation 3:14-21 I don't know what you are going through. I don't know if you choose not to believe in God because you want control of your destiny. I don't know if you've been to church and had the people in the church make you feel unwelcome, or put you down. I don't know if you're so desperately lonely and need something or someone to fill you up. I don't know what your family life is like. I don't know what your friendships are like. I don't know what your financial situations are. I don't know WHO you are.
I DO know someone who knows you inside and out. I DO know someone who loves you more than any one human could ever love you. I DO know that there are many who would much rather pass this off as another stupid Christian trying to 'Chrisitanize'. I also know that if you don't know Jesus, if you're not living with Him in your life...even when you think you are happy, you're missing out. You want control of your destiny...crazy but true...you have to give it up to God. And no matter your past, or present....He wants to give you a brighter future than you have ever EVER dreamed of. He is the God of multiple chances...He can transform your life and give you real Life. He just wants a relationship with you, one that will bless you. One that will make you whole...so everything else in your life will make sense, will fall into place.
I don't know you, but I love you and am praying for you. God bless
July 24 Women as senior PastorsThis is something I know I am going to take a while to get through. So this entry may only be a thinking spot but the conclusion will come in time.
When I finally accepted God's call on my life - to be a pastor...that was hard. When I think of how nervous I felt to tell people about it (and how!) nothing compares to when I finaly actually accepted it myself. And then it was the process of really seeing which part of pastoral ministry He wants me in. To be quite honest...even now...I'm not 100% sure. I just know that He is leading me in it all. I know I love to sing for Him, I know that it gives me joy to talk to Him and about Him to other people. I also know that I love children...so maybe that's where I am being led. However, I also know that there are times, quite often I feel this strong pull to be in the other role. I have had conversations with God about how it makes me nervous to think of that path and so I maybe assistant Pastor.
But recently, there have been so many times when He's dropped in my heart something more. All weekend I've been stewing over this. I read in many places and more recently in a fellow blogger's blog about the belief that women can have speaking, preaching roles in the church but not as a Senior Pastor. Why is that?
I'm not coming from a feminist perspective....or rather an extreme feminist perspective. This is something that is very real and very prevalent in our church today. And somehow...it doesn't make sense to me. One thing I have to say is that I don't care about the old-fashioned versus the modern church style...the only 'style' I care about is the JESUS style. His Truth, His Life, His Salvation, His Triumph, HIS WORD.
From what I see and what I know, Jesus broke barriers. He gave women a stand in the forefront. In the Pauline writings I know he talks about women not speakign in church and that was for a different reason than the one may churches and people use to keep women silent. But Jesus told His disciples (that's all of us who believe) to "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation." Mark 16:15
He didn't say only my male disciples go and speak. It was His command to all. And then there's Galatians 3:28 where Paul writes In Christ's family there can be no division into Jew and non-Jew, slave and free, male and female. Among us you are all equal. That is, we are all in a common relationship with Jesus Christ. If we are all in a common relationship with Jesus, if we are all equal why are only men considered to be allowable Senior Pastors.
These may seem overly simplistic...but really...maybe it is. Have we ever thought about how, the times were different and women were made freer then (the times of Jesus and the apostles and the early Christians). As time moved on women were given more freedom, more equality, more say ...but we're still held back because of fear. Fear of maybe not adhereing to the Word. Or even what women may do...it sounds funny and maybe a little sarcastic, but I'm not being either. I'm serious, if God wants His children to serve Him in the capacity of being a Senior church leader...how do we say no?
One thing that He asked me when I said okay Lord, I will do Your will for my life, was...if it gets hard, if you have to struggle with people telling you you can't or shouldn't do this or that, will you give in. You know what, I said I don't know Lord. I'm nervous about the responsibility. Then He asked me again...this time it was more clear...because I'm able to say I will do what He wants for me. Even if people say no...whose word is mightier? 'Nuff said.
God bless July 18 The Glory and the Lifter of my headTonight is a night that will go down in the history of my memories. Not because it's a good night...but because it's one where I will learn. Also, because it's the night that I am most vindicated.
THis mornign I woke up witha deep need to stop and spend time with God. I am ashamed to say that I don't spend much time with Him...but He continually calls me to Him. And He's always there when I call Him. Awesome isn't it...that He's there with me even with I don't give Him enough or even close to some. He prepared me for what was to come this morning.
There are people in my life who tend to like to play the pointing game. I've been the brunt of it for a while, and I have seen how other people are a part of it too. Along the way there have been others who I've put up with because they have been family. Today I was informed that peoples perverted thoughts put into action were at the fault of one's parents. It's almost laughable to me, and it breaks my heart. What a messed up world we live in.
Those of us who know God need to really really pray hard. Satan may be in the world, be we cannot let him run around and mess with it. We need to be seeking God and showing the world that Satan is truly under our feet...the Church needs to rise up!
Trust is a very strong bond...but it is also very fragile. How do you trust after in a very real way someone pulls the rug from under you? And the funny part...it's a bridge that I had been trying to rebuild after the very same shattered it before. One thing that I know...and this is for any and everyone who may have gone through the same or even different but with the same principle. God is on your side....the way of the righteous is never smooth...but rejoice, because you have a crown in heaven and because with our cross on our back we can push through.
People think that they have this prize and such incredible wisdom. But without God you are nothing. This may be harsh. If you live like a Pharisee with a mind for the rules, with a knowledge of the words in the Word but don't LIVE with the Word inside of you - it is never going to save you. You have got to seek Jesus and live with Him, LIVE WITH HIM. It doesn't matter what you 'know'...if you can't walk the Walk then don't bother talking the talk.
Glorify God in all you do. Pride is such a useless thing. It's all about ME....and you know what...the 'me' may be important...but it's only important for Him. The 'you's are what we need to be caring for. The other people. Not just yourself. You will reap what you sow...make sure that the seeds you sow are ones that bless others, the ones where we tend His garden, not our own.
I will leave you with these verses...
But You, O LORD, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head. Psalm 3:3
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12: 2-3
My slanderers pursue me all day long; many are attacking me in their pride. Psalm 56: 2
The LORD abhors dishonest scales, but accurate weights are his delight. When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity. Proverbs 11:1-3
For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 2 Corinthians 1:5-6
For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. Matthew 12:34-35
For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:20
Sin LiteThis is the Purpose Driven Life devotional I got on July 15 - it's a topic I have been really trying to stress here and also learning from. I hope this blesses you
Sin Lite: Less Filling; Less Faith by John Fischer
This is the age of “lite.” A walk through the supermarket will reveal a lite version of just about everything from yogurt to salami to beer. In that context, lite usually means a less caloric, less harmful version of the original thing. Now I know its human nature to think in terms of a less harmful version of sin, as if you could grade sin on its caloric count, because I think this way all the time. There’s really bad sin (everyone else’s) and then there’s my sin (not such a big deal). There’s original sin and then there’s sin lite. Sin lite would have little to do with real sin. It’s how I perceive my own sin as in the little slip-ups, rationalizations and indiscretions I allow myself. They might be private sins that I don’t think affect anyone else because I keep them to myself. It’s human nature to make everyone else’s sin bigger and more harmful than your own. But sadly, if I think this way, it means the rest of my experience with Jesus and the gospel will be “lite” as well. Sin lite means grace lite, forgiveness lite, gratefulness lite, love lite — how about overall Christianity lite? Less filling; less faith. Martin Luther once said that if you are going to sin, sin mightily. Now I’m sure he didn’t mean by that that we should all go out and have a big night on the town in his honor (or maybe he did). What I think he meant was to realize there is no such thing as degrees of sin. Sin is sin, and if you catch yourself thinking of your sin as any less serious than someone else’s, then you need a new perspective on things. The people who are worse off are those who harbor their little secret sins and think themselves better for it. They are the one’s Luther was thinking about when he said this. They would be better off if their sin were more visible, more devastating, because then they would have no choice but to be humbled into facing it and getting some help. The worst blindness is to be blind and think you can see better than anybody. Such a person is blind to all of God’s provision for sin and never free of the comparison game. The minute there is someone out there who, in my opinion is a worse sinner than I am, is when I have stepped over a line and rendered myself ineligible for the grace of God. Not a place anyone wants to be when the judgment comes. July 06 Strange GoodnessI started writing on my other blog...and this came out. I felt that it needed to be posted here too. God loves you!!
I wasn't so sure how I felt today, but I am ever so blessed! Even with all the craziness
in my life. With the silliness and pettiness and pride and selfishness and jealousies and pain and suffiering and dreams and hopes and challenges and all the craziness that surrounds me, I have a God who is molding me into the image of Jesus. Something He constantly shows me is that even with my faults, He loves me. And even when I sometimes fall into the trap of looking at someone and saying, but look at what that person is doing. That personality trait is stupid. Or that insecurity is very frustrating, or whatever...when we look at someone else and point out their flaws. Yea I do that too. But last night, I realized i had stopped praying really for me to see my own fautls. And so I asked Him again. And now I can sit here with joy, because He will change me. No, I don't like some of the things that I see in me. Okay, a lot. And sometimes it's hard for us all to take it. To see that WE are the problem. To see that WE are self-absorbed. To see that WE MAKE MISTAKES, or worse...WE ARE WRONG. Lol...I'm okay with admitting it. I know a lot of people who aren't. And that makes me sad. This may be the craziest analogy...but I think it's something that hit me recently. Okay...I like soaps. Now I don't agree with a lot of the stuff...but I have this thing about certain couples,and I follow their storylines. One that I don't really watch..but I keep up with what's happening on is the Bold and the Beautiful. Before shaking your head at me, hear me out. I like Brooke, one of the original characters on the show. And I am one of the people who always wants her with Ridge. I won't go into allegiances and stuff about the story. But Brooke and Ridge belong together...and Taylor was a woman who came in an messed that up. She died, and Brooke and Ridge found their love again. Married, built a family and had a kid. OKay..so recently Taylor showed up alive (I KNOW). So Ridge is married to two women. Taylor has often been touted as the 'moral' one of all the women. Fine. Brooke, throughout the soap has been a woman who made a lot of mistakes, especially in the sex department...because of 'love'. Usually, knowing the things Brooke has done I would be inclined to think of her as a 'b*witch* and have a party for Taylor being back. But I'm not having a party. And even when Brooke cleaned up her act, she's losing out. I was having a conversation with a friend, and mentiond my affinity for Brooke. And he told his mother, who came out with the question, 'does she know that Brooke is a b***h?'. I was thinking about why, I was rooting for Brooke, and I always have a soft spot for her. Even with all that she has done...trust me, they are doozies. I couldn't figure it out. I know that despite those things,
she was either messed up, tricked, very broken, very needy, hurt, cheated, looking for love, or even searching for peace...maybe joy. ANd she's not a bad person...just someone who made some choices that had a lot of negative ramifications. Does that mean she is evil? NO. I never really thought about it, but as I started writing this (and I did not plan to)
it occured to me how similar this is to us. You, me, the neighbor who mocks us for believing in God. We all do things, have made choices that would make us the bad guy... the jerk, the b***h. And the soft spot I have for Brooke, the way I want her to come out on top, to have love, to have the peace she has been seeking - that's just what God wants for us. He loves us, His heart breaks at our negative choices. He watches us go through the messes - but unlike me and my watching of Brooke and her journeys. He Roots for us, He prays for us, He whispers in our ears...only we don't often hear Him. We often ignore Him, or just don't want to believe in Him. It's amazing to me, inspite of the many times people, we too, even snub Him, or hurt Him, He's still on our side. And he's showing us the path to Him all the time...only we're too blind or just
too self-absorbed to see it. Even those of us who think we already know Him, and we can make wahtever rules we want for ourselves. He is SO for us...even those out there who think He's a crock. Let me tell you, He's not. He's the most real and true person, who ever was and is and will be. He's also the only One who can and does love you unconditionally. And when you turn to Him, you definitely do not lose out! June 22 Thankfulness and prayerHi Everyone I've been away for a week...my cousin got married and we got to go to Alberta. IT wasa blast, and I got to spend time with and get to know some cousins on that sid eof the family I didn't know very well - and I was a little, no a lot nervous about it before, but from the moment we got there it all fit. I am super thankful for my family. The night before I left we got a call from my aunt in Michigan. My uncle fell while cleaning the eaves drop at his home and it was a bad scene. He fractured both his arms in multiple places and also his right leg. It was so scary to have to hear, because I know him as only strong and I had spent the weekend with them and he was perfectly fine then. I see him healthy one day and the next day he's not. People who check out Ams' space will already know about this, because I know she has talked about it. This is something that really struck me hard. Let me start of by saying I am blessed. God gave me three men in my life who were fathers to me, who raised me. My father and two of my mother's brothers. This uncle is one of them. And all of them raised my brother and I literally. This particular uncle in addition to being my third father is also one of my best friends. For me to hear about this and to know that I can't even go there to see him is very hard. Moreso, it's hard to klnow that he's going through this. Also, my aunt (who is also a very close friend) and the two children who are just the most amazing little brother and sister, having to go through this. But you know what, it could easily have been his head and chest that were injured, and God protected him in that. And while he may not be able to do anything right now, I know he will heal. Please pray for my uncle and the family. For the two little ones who are only 6 and 3. For my aunt. When I got back, I recieved an email from a friend of mine. She had informed me that she lost the baby she was carrying. THis baby was a surprise because she was told she would never be able to concieve, and it was just amazing to have the baby. I know of others who've had miscarriages, many who know me know how much I love children and want my own. When an aunt lost two babies, I know how hard it was on her, how much she hurt. I know how she and my uncle grieved and I grieved too. It's not easy. My heart breaks for my friend...please pray for her. For strength and hope and peace and most of all God's love to fill her up. This past week has been very enlightening. I noticed things about myself I really don't like. I notice that I don't really treat my dad with patience. I get irritated easily and when I speak to him I have an irate tone that I use. It's not fair to him, and I may have some legitimate reasons for being frustrated, but that's only for certain things (which I am sure are normal in the whole parent-child relationship) but I tend to use that on him all the time. I think it's quite condescending and it's not fair to him. Especially when he treats me like a princess and loves me so much. Please pray for me about that. I want to be good to my father. And pray for him too, he's got a lot of things that I can't talk about to get through and deal with. He's also growing older, and I think that takes a toll on him. I've had quite few discussions of faith, and also denominations this past week. Especially the Lutheran vs. Non-denominational/Pentecolstal/CHarismatic churches. This is something I really want to address. I fall under the latter, but my father grew up in the former, and his family is Lutheran. The wedding was Lutheran, and there were a lot of things that I noticed that I proabably wouldn't do or are just maybe too old school for me. But that does not mean they are necessarily bad. And that is what I want to talk about. I believe that the church is not a denomination but every Christian - every person. As a Christian we exercise our role in the church which is the Body of Christ. So there may be many different denomintations but that does not mean that one is better than the other. All serve a purpose, all serve to build up the people of God. While there may be some that choose to support unbiblical practices which I would never steer someone towards...for the most part the denominations that follow Biblical true teaching and are God centered whether old school-tradtional or charismatic...we are all one in Christ. I want to pray for everyone, I want people to pray for everyone. Even the people we don't like. Please pray for the people that I have talked about. They need it. On another note, I wanted to say I'm thankful. Thankful that my uncle is alive, thankful that God is faithful and true, thankful that even though the baby is gone my friend was able to carry the child for however short a time it was, was able to hope, thankful that our faith needs not be built on anything by Jesus' blood and righteousness, thankfull that I am able to love, that I am able to notice when I make mistakes and choose to rectify them, thankful that we have sun rises and sun sets, that there is music and laughter, thankful that there is hope and life. Thankful for all of you who come here and read what I have to say...and pray that you are blessed by it in some way. Thankful that I can say that Jesus loves you and lives for you...and know it's true.
June 13 Legacy - Nichole NordemanI've been playing and singing this song a lot in the past couple of weeks. It's really heavy on my heart (in a good way)...because I do want to leave a legacy. Not one that makes me look good or anything...lol..though it would be nice. It's just this deep abiding passion in me...I want to show the world how much God loves it. How much He wants to have a relationship with each and every one of us. To make us not feel insecure, or lonely or unloved. How much He can fulfil us, and what He can do through us. He is a mighty God of all that is good, all that is awesome, and so much more faithful than any one person that we can trust. Legacy - Nichole Nordeman I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights I want to leave a legacy I don't have to look too far or too long awhile Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred June 09 Response and reflectionThere are quite a few things on my heart right now...first of which is a response to a comment made on my previous entry. This person said that he mocks a certain 'application' of Christianity. Now, you know what, there are many so-called Christians out there who don't apply their faith. Actually, that goes for all religions. Only, with regard to Christianity...when people DO apply their faith, they are regarded as intolerant, misguided, foolish, old-fashioned, narrow-minded, ignorant...I'm sure there are a lot more 'terms' that people will use. Know what? If my application of my faith is completely in sync with what God has called for, and if other people who share my faith choose to not buckle under the pressure of 'modern' society and say 'Wait a minute, homosexuality is not pleasing to God, adultery is not right, premarital sex is not something we can condone! We choose to say NO.' I for one am right with them and am quite proud of them! Sexual immorality (yes I used the 'immoral' word) is something that is rampant in societies the world over. And you know what...there are consequences for them. I've said it before and I will say it again...a sin is a sin is a sin. No more, no less. But there are ramifications for them and those can very well lead to death - emotional, physical, mental and spiritual. I'm super glad, that my God is a God of forgiveness and love. Even knowing the things we have done, our weaknesses, He forgives. And He takes us in His arms, He has a mega party in Heaven when we turn from our past and turn to Him. And He makes us brand new. He changes us, transforms us to be so much better and more fulfilled. Love. The afrementioned person commented that I don't love him/her. You know what? That's quite funny...because I do love this person. No I don't know him/her personally, but I love him/her just the same. Jesus gave me the ability to love, and I choose to love. Just because people make choices that are harmful to them, that I will not agree with, does not mean that I can hate them. Frankly, I'm very hurt for them. We can tell people the truth until we are blue in the face but unless THEY choose to open their eyes and ears, and they actually listen...there's no where to go. I choose to pray. Pray for salvation for them, pray for brokenness, pray for humility(for us and them), pray for hearts to be softened, and pray for life for them. Because they may think they are completely fine, completely secure and living it up, they may say - what do you mean I need life I have one! But they don't...they have existence...and if they choose that...we as the body of Christ have the responsibility to love them, and we still pray for them. If they choose existence...they chose it. We pray for them. Remember...where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. It's very hard to try to get people to understand that. I don't in any way hold myself or any other faithful Christian above non-Christians or even the name-sake Christians...that is, if I did feel that way, not true. I am however choosing to be faithful, and that gives me the responsibility to speak up and let people know the Truth. Like it or not, God made us, His children His hands and feet...we are however not God. We speak what He wants us to and do what He wants us to. We have a choice to follow and do. I'm sitting here looking at this and something that the pastor at my young adults church said keeps hitting me. We are called to catch the fish, not clean them. The cleaning is for God...the same God who cleans us who choose Him. Why should we try to usurp Him? He does the best job possible! I just pray for conviction...for myself and members of the Body of Christ, and also for those who do not know, for those who mock, for those who don't understand....for everyone. Jesus died for EVERYONE...not just one...and just the same He thought of each one...not just a collective people...amazing huh? That is the love of God, and the sacrifice of the Lord God Jesus Christ. |
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